Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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