What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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