Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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No

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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