knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

it's funny because it's funny

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

whats black and strange a paki

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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