What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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PENIS

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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