How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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brock has small hands for a small job

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a black man pays his child support

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops