What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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miha kako si?

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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