Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -26

lets bomb africa

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

mmm i love marble bumhole

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops