It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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