Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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