How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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