Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call two dog? dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The Labour Party.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops