There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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