Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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A joke

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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The Aristocrats

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Global Warming.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Womens Sports

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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Religion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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