"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

Robin, get in the car.

Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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