Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

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The Aristocrats

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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