A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

blubber vaginass CC

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

thumb_up thumb_down

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

thumb_up thumb_down

Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Liars go to hell! -God

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops