Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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noodles

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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