There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

What's red and silly? A blood clot

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

why did the chicken cross the road

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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