What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops