What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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your all shit at jokes

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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My life

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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I like jokes.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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Poop

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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