Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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no

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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