why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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