A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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