Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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Men's rights

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops