What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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