Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

why did the blue berry cross the road

What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

george goodburn is secretly mexican

How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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