How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops