A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

WNBA

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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