What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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