Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

=3

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops