Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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