what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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hers a joke... japanese people

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops