Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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69

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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