how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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My spelling is horrible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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