Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops