Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Potato salad

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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