Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I like jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

poop.........

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

thumb_up thumb_down -38

If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

son, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -82

What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops