A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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dildo

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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