Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops