guy walks into a bar, ouch

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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ert

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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p

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops