What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Barack Obama.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops