- Anti Joke

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

These jokes don't have punchlines.

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.