How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Scott

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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An antijoke

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops