Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's 9 +10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

thumb_up thumb_down +17

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops