Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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1+1= 69

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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cc

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Women's rights

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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