Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jews for Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

ekoj

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

thumb_up thumb_down

Womens Sports

thumb_up thumb_down -2

balls in ya mouf

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops