Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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9/11.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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son, you're adopted.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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...Jack Vale

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops