Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

tim tebow is a great quarterback

I had a dream I watched Inception.

haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

American healthcare.

A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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