What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Well, this is fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call your mother? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Is Carly smart? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -5

chuck norris is a little b|tch

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops