Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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Women's Soccer.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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