2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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No soup for you!

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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