Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops